kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

this is just one of the days

na nakakainis.

+tinatamad akong gumalaw
+tinotoyo ako
+nang-aaway ako ng laber
+tinatamad akong magviolin
+ndi ako naniniwala sa mga lalaking loyal. pakiramdam ko lang nagsisinungaling sila.
+wala akong ganang kumain
+sumasakit ang mata 'ko
+nabibwisit ng sooooobbbbraaaa sa kahit ano.

at may apat akong malalim na kalmot sa braso.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


this one, i snatched from Carlo Silva's friendster account. This is his description of himself:

"i'm angsty by the way .. but nothing like your usual teenage-anime loving-gets better fucking grades than you-angst .. people like that are angsty just for the sake of being angsty .. the thing is .. they think being angsty is cool .. and so they project angst through themselves just so that they'd have an image for people .. what's inside is what counts the most .."

I don't know if Carlo will get mad at me for taking his statement without his knowledge, but one thing for sure... he knows why I took it.

Gomen ne, Caoi... and thanks for everything and for all you've taught me.

i really think this angsty image is NOT cool at all.

to you, because you know who you are

hindi ko kaya.

kahit ilang beses kong subukang tumalikod,
hindi ko kaya.

kahit ilang beses sabihing tama na,
hindi ko kaya.

bakit kailangang maging mali ang mga bagay na masaya?


LCB-operating room 8 @ 8:33 AM, habang nag-ooperate ng c-arm

lumabas kami kahapon. sinamahan ko s'yang pumunta sa APMC, sa may Quezon Avenue ... masaya. kumain kami sa Goldilocks (masarap ang pagkain basta gutom ka na at isang buong araw kang walang kinakain...). mga dalawang oras siguro kami do'n... binasa n'ya ang aking sulat ng "pamamaalam" at pinag-usapan namin ang mga bagay-bagay... hindi ko talaga kayang magpaalam. naiinis na ako sa sarili ko.

nung pauwi na kami, nakasiksik ako sa kanya habang siya ay nakaakbay sa akin. masaya. masayang sumiksik sa taong ... gusto mo. naalala ko ang magkasintahan na nakasakay ko sa jeep noong minsang pauwi ako sa dormitoryo ng kapatid ko sa dapitan. nakasiksik sila sa isa't-isa, at natuwa ako sa nakita ko. at kahapon gano'n din kami. at ang sarap ng pakiramdam. parang... kahit na wala akong karapatan, gusto kong tumingin sa mga tao at sabihin ng buong pagmamalaki, "he is my guy and i am his girl".. masaya, masaya.

pasensya... pasensya sa taong nasasagasaan namin. sa MGA taong nasasagasaan namin.


at para sa 'yo, sana kahit papa'no, masaya ka. at sana alam mong tapos na ko sa paglalaro.

thanks sa may-ari ng blog. signing out.

malayang tala

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


you don't know how much it pains me to see you cry especially this time when I am the reason.

it's as if my own shadow stabs me a thousand times with a dagger in a form of a letter - the one i wrote a year ago about my first love and how i longed for him... and you did all you can to read the letter this morning.

i warned you didn't i? that the letter would hurt you more than ever.. that the letter would only cause raucus between us. but you still went your way, even went to the CR to read it.

i hated myself, and after you've calmed down, you hugged me and made hushing sounds whenever i apologized..

a thousand apologies will never be enough... i know, i can feel.

when i asked you that if i would say "i love you," would you still believe me?...you said, yes. i was silent for more than an hour, thinking if it was true. and i couldn't cry. why? what right do i have?!

yet you continued to hug me, while all i could ask myself was, "am i even worthy of this?"

when will you stop being nice to me?

that was torture, did you know that? it's guilt, regret and hate all mixed together.

i still hate myself. this wound on my left wrist would stay forever, scarred with time.

Friday, May 12, 2006

BI - rain

...what's worse, having your period? or having a pimple?

i choose the latter. pakehr.

may bagyo pala. >_> signal # 1 kami dito...
and yet, the rain is very soothing.. ndi malakas, ndi ambon.
and when i hear its sound on the roof outside my window, ::sighs::

natural high.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

ohooyyyy... kamusta naman ang anime na'to. @_@ astehg.

OMG! na-download ko na!!! :D

+ a song of storm and fire (tsubasa chronicles/syaoran's theme)
+ blaze (TRC op)
+ Loop (TRC ed)
+ Zutto kimi no soba de (Flame of recca 2nd ed)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

memory, all alone in the moonlight, la la la la la la la...

i wonder how it is to lose my memories.

will it be a good thing? it's like living your life from the start, but more cautiously since you're old enough to know what's right or wrong.

will it be a bad thing? not knowing those who have helped you be the person you are before losing your memory. or not knowing the people you have loved and have loved you in return. not knowing the people who have made you stronger even though they broke your heart many times.

i wonder if losing my memories can make me a better person.. and there's nothing to worry about cos even if i did lose my memories, it won't hurt me because i know nothing.

and the others, they will be in great pain only if they want me to remember them. but if they don't care at all, then there's none.

all these thoughts brought by Tsubasa Chronicles. Thursdays at 1900H. on animax.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

3 hours byahe.4 hours in navotas.3 hours byahe ulit

wai!! before i went to Det's this morning, i caught the final episode of UFO Baby. sa wakasssss!!!!!!

momoka grew up to a very pretty lady, who still rode her bike... and miu and kanata got married and had a daughter who almost looked like ruu. Ruu and bowmeow went back to earth, and ruu looked like a lanky boy... oh well... i expected Ruu to be more handsome and taller.

anyway, it's Det's mom's birthday today so I went to their house to eat. LOL Det's cousin Gail went gaga over me again and she was so cute!!! :D]

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

one of the best episodes of gakuan alice.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


Alice Academy is getting more exciting. =D Natsume called Mikan "Strawberry" and Mikan went all red. XD her panty was actually designed strawberry and Natsume saw it when Mikan bent over to knock on a wall... and they were inside a dark box of walls!!!!!!!!!


Then Ruka and Hotaru went searching for them inside the haunted house which was an attraction made by the sematic types for the academy festival. and when Ruka bumped the wall of the box to actually free natsume and mikan, he and hotaru saw Mikan on top of Natsume. Ruka shook and had sweatdrops all over. It was soooo funny!


I think Ruka likes Mikan cos he blushed when Mikan was wearing the genie costume. and well.... I think Natsume likes her too. He's just not good in showing his emotions... actually, he has no emotion at all.

Like Hotaru and his older brother, one of the principals.

What's this Dark Angel anime in QTV... it seems very interesting. hmmm

I went to school yesterday to enroll. T_T there were sooo many law freshmen and T___T i got so tired finishing the rest of the 5 steps. JUST 5 STEPS!!

good thing Det was there waiting for me. =)

Sunday, May 07, 2006

ang pagbabalik ng otaku

ampangit ng diploma.
pero... diploma pa rin yun.


I caught Gakuen Alice's last monday episode and ... T__T i almost
drooled over natsume!!!!!! and ruka almost did too 'cos Mikan wore a
genie costume for the alice festival. XD

Natsume and Mikan looks cute together. :D

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Hotaru doesn't seem to worry about Mikan but... like Det used to say, obvious reasons are not always the basic reasons.


want list:
+ ultra maniac series

+ gakuen alice series

+ Zutto kimi no soba de mp3

+ tsubasa reservoir chronicles series

+ fruits basket series

+ TRC soundtrack


Gakuen Alice!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Thursday, May 04, 2006

bewitching free time

I transferred from Lyric Music School to Music Wizard home tutorial. hehe... The schools have different methods.

Now I'm using the Suzuki School of Music Method where they make the children listen to the recorded pieces then they make you play it (while reading the notes) together with the CD.

I can now play Twinkle Twinkle little Star Variation A and variation D and the original Twinkle Twinkle or the 'Theme'. I can also play Lightly Row which I've heard from Sang doo! Hakk yo
ga ja! and also Song of the Wind (that i'm having difficulty doing the freaking "fa-re-sol-fa-mi") and Go Tell Aunt Rhody. The songs are all childish and ancient but they're big help to me. :)

We went swimming last night at club manila east. I wore a bathing suit. XD

Ayon... nothing much. I'm only busy with Seiryu and Law school.

==tapos na pala Ultra Maniac. I want to buy a complete copy of its series.

*ang gwafu ni Tsujiai!*