kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Sunday, April 30, 2006


the thanksgiving dinner went fine last night. i wore a black tube top paired with a black ankle-length black skirt.. my cousin said i lacked black nail polish and black eyeliner then i could have scared the hell out of my other little cousins.

anyway, most of the visitors were relatives and family friends. only two came from UST, Det and April. April came with her longtime boyfriend, Russel, who was actually my sister's gradeschool classmate. asteg.

Det slept over.

ayon... nothing much to tell.

i'll probably go to UST Civil Law soon...

Sunday, April 23, 2006

just pics

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family.. hehe.

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the men in my college life.

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then me and my cousins with our grandmother (mama's nanay)

superiority complex

Kamusta naman.

Ganun talaga ang mga tao noh!?

here's the situation:

Girl is a bigtime advertising exec and she has Boyfriend but Boyfriend is also preoccupied with his work. Now Girl has to go to Baguio to search for her brother's runaway fiancee.. She asks for
Boyfriend's company but Boyfriend refuses. So Girl goes to Baguio alone. While there, Boyfriend calls her and tells her that if she doesn't go back, Boyfriend will not wait for her. So.. they break up, just that.

Fastforward... Boyfriend sees Girl at a restaurant with Other Guy whom she met at Baguio (and of course, something happened* while they were in Baguio). Boyfriend calls her and asks if she's in the office, Girl hides the truth (because she and Other Guy were talking about something important and obviously didn't want interruption). So Boyfriend comes out and tells her she's a liar.


My problem?! Here:

Bakit may mga taong laging sinisisi ang mga babae? Some girls won't do things that are considered to be wrong by the norms if the guys won't trigger them. Come on!

Boyfriend lacked affection, trust and support. and even if Girl made a mistake by sleeping with Other Guy AFTER they BROKE UP, still, Boyfriend made a mistake first. and even if she lied by saying she was in the office, it still wouldn't count, considering the situation. Whattheheck.

Pero these people cannot see that men do dumb things that make girls go nuts.


if men are caught with other girls, they're labelled as cool. When women are caught with other guys, they're labelled as easy girls. That is just soooooooooooooo unfair!!! I can't believe these people! And if men are doing not-so-clean things, they are ONLY doing something FUN! but with women!!! it's different, they're already being put down by a lot of people.

ang hirap kasi with other girls, sila yung gumagawa ng paraan para maging mababa ang tingin sa kanila ng ibang tao. (I, for one, made a mistake BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT!!! i'm redoing things now, so I can make a good name for myself. erm... it's nothing dirty or naughty but it's not supposed to be an act of what my father termed MARIA CLARA.)

anyway, i just watched Don't Give Up On Us starring Piolo Pascual and Judy Ann Santos. That was where the freaking situation came from but I was toootalllly affected (so i stopped watching in the middle of the movie) 'cos someone I'm supposed to know had just put down women unconsciously. which is even worse.

i also watched Memento Mori (YEY!!), The Family Stone and Exorcism of Emily Rose this afternoon..

wala lang.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Shishio Makoto pala anoh!? LOL


wala lang... after a three hours of violin lessons, i suppose am doing quite alright... i've only started bowing whole notes, and a few strokes on the half and quarter notes... Randy dandy is trying to teach me stuff about major scales and i need to understand them better.

anyway, i'm missing my classmates.. but i'm more missing my friends... not just my real friends but the people i thought were my real friends. i'm missing them because we shared things too.. and it's sad to to just throw all the memories away... I have two people who were special to me even for just a while..

i'm missing pei too even though it's been only five days since we last saw each other...

i had my hair cut this morning. don't expect anything weird... LOL

sana matuloy ang gimik namin nina Patty mamaya. Miss ko na rin highschool barkada ko...

*sighs* when i think about it, i do take people for granted because i expect them to stay... but i learned my lesson... those you treasure as friends may also go away because of a single mistake that you never intended... but hey! i'm not the only one who committed a mistake, you know.. they did too.

i didn't get to watch the TRC since its first airing. :( anu na kaya nangyari?

and i sacrificed CardCaptor Sakura for Seiryu!! (Seiryu is the name of my violin. Hehe)

Saturday, April 15, 2006

the weak shall die and the strong shall live. - Shishio from Samurai X. ahahaha

The whole holy week was supeeeer hectic for me. I was busy from Wednesday until last night.

Last wednesday, we arranged and designed the camarin of the Santo Entierro with flowers and brought it to the Ynares Plaza in downtown at 11 PM. It was put there with the other saints for exhibit the next day.

Maundy Thursday: some of my relatives and I went to the plaza to stay by the entierro so nothing of our possessions would be lost. There were so many people already... there was also a Pasion ng Bayan thing. Of course, Santo Entierro mostly became the 'main attraction'. My Uncle Pio (who's the same age as me) came with my Lola Ceci from La Union. My Tita Jelyn (who's the same age as my sister) and her boyfriend, JB also came from Laguna.

We barely slept after coming home at 5:30 am after the Pasion ng Bayan. we had to bring the entierro back to my grandmother's place to dress it up anew and do some more cleaning.

Good Friday: we woke up at 8:30, yearning every minute we could get to close our eyes but unfortunately we had to go back to my grandma's place to help with the chores there. we had to design the camarin with flowers, help with the giving of food to those who were reading the passion of Christ and those who were claiming to be 'nagpapanata' who visited the entierro before the procession and run errands for the 'authorities' aka the elders.

then at 3 pm, the women relatives including me, brought the santo entierro to its camarin... unfortunately, other non-relative women came under the entierro's bed that it already became so crowded my Mom and I had to go out or else we'd be squished.

what I did was to shove all the men who were touching the saint's body and bed when the instruction given was only women were allowed to touch it first. and the men were supposed to just bring the camarin to the church in downtown...

also, Ron Aldrin's (X) siblings were sooooo i-don't-know-what cos they were calling me over and over and pointing me to strangers who were probably their relatives saying, "yan si ate Jama." then the strangers would nod, looking at me with their funny-yet-scary facial expressions. ...Ron must be telling them things about me. I'm gonna kill that guy.

then we went home at 1 am after almost being killed at the procession. (yeah, the procession of the Santo Entierro is always deadly here in Binangonan. that's why it was called Santo Giwang-giwang because it sways and it takes people with it. and that's also the main reason why it's always the main attraction... because people here love to see others get hurt and sweaty. the procession lasts for almost 6 hours because of the Giwang-giwang.)

i was sooooo exhausted.

but it was fun, i wanna get inside the river of sweaty men and almost be murdered again.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


don't want to speak cos i know i'll hurt you.

but i hate it when you make parinig.

me lang ang may right to do that.

squabble ka dyan. like your making parinig isn't annoying enough, duh. >_>

okay, so i sounded like an idiot. what do i care? and why would i?

Thursday, April 06, 2006


April 9, 2006

/edit: deleted the part that caused ruckus during the weekend. creative writing will never be appreciated if the writer has a significant other who's uber doubtful of the writer's loyalty.

Wow... Chronicle of the wings (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles) is beautiful!!! At first I thought it was a continuation of Card Captor Sakura since the characters were there: Sakura, Syaoran, Touya, Yukito, Tomoyo, etc. ... but Chii of Chobits was there. >_< so i researched about it and it was actually an original story by Clamp. mya~

I thought Sakura and Syaoran of CCS really did got together.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Kanashimi no tenshi === angel of sadness.

i suppose being an angel of sadness, i bring such to people i love.

i was reading Paulo Coelho's The Valkyries the other night and his quest for love and magic.

and i came across a tradition saying,

"When God wants to drive a person insane, He grants that person's every wish."

...now i understand why I didn't pass Ateneo Law.

anyway, i have already passed San Beda College of Law. It used the Center for Measurement's Law exam and I obtained an overall grade of 97% (excellent).

and if I pass the interview in UST, I'll be choosing between the two good schools.

Flame of Recca is airing on Animax again. It would have been great but... Recca's name is being pronounced as Rika, and Kagero as Kageruw. >_>

Am waiting for Chronicle of The Wings... the trailer makes it so beautiful. It'll be starting on the 6th at 7 pm.

oh and yeah... i have finally caught fushigi yuugi on animax but it was the episode when Tamahome-chan's family got murdered. the episode where i cried so much! mya~!!!!

oh... and nuriko was sooooooooooooo handsome when he took off his clothes. @___@

Saturday, April 01, 2006

murahin ang sarili paminsan-minsan

madaming nagsasabing 'wag kang umasa kung ayaw mong masaktan.
pero kapag ba hindi ka umasa, matatakasan mo ang sakit?

hindi naman eh.
sa totoo lang, mas masakit pa.

alam mo kasing dapat hindi ka masaktan dahil hindi ka naman umasa, pero masakit na maramdamang nasasaktan ka pa rin kahit alam mo na ang mangyayari.

higit pa dun, nawawalan ka ng tiwala sa maraming bagay.
sa tao, sa sarili mo, sa kakayanan mong manalangin, at sa pagdinig Nya sa panalangin mo.

sasabihin ng maraming tao na hindi ka dapat mawalan ng tiwala sa sarili mo dahil ikaw lang ang makapagbabangon sa'yo kahit ano pang gawing suporta ng iba. pero wala ka nang magawa kapag ikaw mismo ang humahatak sa sarili mo pababa.

at paghatak mo, nahahatak mo rin ang mga taong gusto mong iangat. ang mga taong dahilan kung bakit ka nagpupursiging iangat ang sarili mo.

oo nga pala, hindi ako pumasa sa Ateneo.