kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

hay nako.

Maa ne.. you get some, you lose some.

::sigh:: what could i do, ne? nothing. what could my grade be? how come i couldn't enroll oblicon..? there are so many questions that are yet to be answered. i'm wondering if i can have the answers to them all.

but surprisingly, everyone was ok with that. they were all telling me to go on, not to look backwards but forward, ...

i guess i am ok because they are ok. and i realized, i am doing this because i want to please them.
would there be a difference if i do it not because of them but because of myself? if so, would that difference be a positive or a negative one?

i wonder... maybe.. the negative. because i can be easily contented and others cannot. so whatever i do, no matter how they say that i am a perfectionist, if i think that what i did was already the best, then that's it. and my best is always not the best for them.

for some reason.

Ee-chan and I met yesterday at SM Manila. It was fun. And I'm sorry that we did even if you objected.

i'm sure you know it was all innocent fun.

and i'm sorry if you saw a text message from that someone you despise in my inbox. it doesn't mean anything.

because i love you.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

writer's block


i wanted to write a tagalog short fiction but i couldn't find the words to use.. this isn't supposed to happen..not when i already have the plot inside my head.


then i wanted to write in english but... the moment ran away. kuso.

maa.. guess i have to wait for another chance, ne?


yesterday's judgment day was moved to October 30, Monday.. waiting isn't over and the final sigh has yet to come..

it must be a sigh of relief and not of anguish!



Ee-chan and I are planning to meet each other on Monday..^_^

I already told Pe that.. ^^

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

dweh part 2

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes


other quizzes said i am: 60% weird; 68% proud; and 64% intuitive.

which temperament are you? choleric temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.


Your Personality Is
Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!

Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.

You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.

In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.

At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.

With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.

As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.

On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

>>the 3-question personality test at www.blogthings.com<<

--- i think, though, that statement about fashion is not really true when it comes to me. i like fashion and i don't think it is silly. i think it is art and self-expression. the rest, i think, is correct.

other quizzes said that i am 48% obsessive; 64% lusty; 40% normal; 44% paranoid schizophrenic
and that my aura is blue

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

sleeping in despair

*jam and her other self, nyaha, were talking:

jam: if you were sleeping beauty who was dreaming of paradise, would you want your prince to kiss you and wake you up?

nyaha: of course.

jam: why?

nyaha: because my dreams can come true when i am awake.

jam: what if they don't?

nyaha: then it is only a nightmare and my prince would have to wake me up again.

jam: what if your prince gets tired of waking you up everytime your paradise don't come true?

nyaha: then he is not the prince for me.

jam: and who is the prince for you? someone who would still wake you up even if he had gotten tired of doing so?

nyaha: yes.

jam: is that not slavery?

nyaha: no. because he's going to do it with love.

jam: love you said, what is this love anyway?

nyaha: ...i don't know.

**long silence**

jam: so ...would you rather continue dreaming paradise or stay awake and risk?

nyaha: *sigh* i don't know..

jam: would you rather miss somebody and get hurt or not miss somebody and feel nothing?

nyaha: well, i am always hurting, am i not? so i guess i'd rather choose not to miss somebody. then it could make a difference.

nyaha: how about you?

jam: i guess i'll choose to miss somebody and get hurt.

nyaha: why?

jam: cos when i hurt, it means i love.

nyaha: so this love... it means pain?

jam: i guess so...

nyaha: and you still want it?

jam: yes.

nyaha: why?

jam: because it means that i am human.

nyaha: if being human means i have to get hurt, then i don't want to be human.

jam: at least you have a choice.

Monday, October 23, 2006



just hanging out at home. watching a few anime series.

finished episode 67 of kyo kara maoh and yet the series i bought in Quiapo is still incomplete.

finished season 1 of Gokusen jdorama... UCHI~!!!!!!!!!

waiting for rendition of judgment on the 27th.. hope it isn't corporal punishment.

don't know what happened to the tagboard but i am not interested in fixing it right now (although i have the time to do so...) gomen.

belated happy birthdays to

+ Paolo, October 10
+ Elizel, October 10
+ Fay, October 22
+ Zac Hanson, October 22,

Happy birthdays to

+ Amae
+ Ate Armin <<< Congrats on appearing on Mean Well, Special Screening last Oct. 21 at Megamall, Cinema 9.