kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Saturday, December 17, 2005

...

sana paglabas ko sa kalye, pauwi ng dorm, masagasaan ako.

i want~!!!

just to forget the sad times... i will post my wishlist!!! *eeeeeeeeehhhhhheeeeemmmmmmmm*

1. i pod shuffle
2. laptop
3. gameboy
4. tamagochi
5. poly pocket

on the not-so-materialistic side of wishlist:
6. thesis success
7. defense success
8. peace at heart
9. world peace
10. food for the marginalized
11. more employment
12. happiness for her
13. happiness for everyone that i've hurt
14. ADMU law school

Friday, December 16, 2005

days after

We had a class christmas party last night. I couldn’t post pictures yet, they are still not available.

The class was great. We were all happy, I guess most of us were… I was on the verge of crying just looking at my classmates. That would be our last christmas party together… thank God for them.

Thanks to Abi, for the invisible gift. Hehe.. I completely understand. Just your presence was a gift to me last night. I’m serious. You really don’t have to hurry and buy me that thing in the wishlist… and if you could find the complete episodes, then, I’d pay the rest na lang.

==

For the nth time, we broke up. And I guess this’ll be for good. No more second, third, hundredth time around… I’m tired. She’s tired of battling out old issues and I’m tired of defending myself over and over. I’m tired of hearing jealousy, unreasonable doubts, you know. Whatever. Just that.

Who cares if both of us were hurting? Who cares if our family would suspect why things between us changed when we’re uber inseparable? They only think of us as best friends anyway. Best friends have differences.

Who cares if our thesis is the only bridge between us now? Meysil is still there. She’d keep us going. And… anyway, there are only three months left before we part forever.

Bleargh. Forever. The dreaded word… we dreaded it because we knew all along that we couldn’t be together forever, and it kept on bugging us because we thought we’d be in love with each other forever and not being together means we’d be suffering. Right. Forever. Forever. Forever.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Goddamnit. Why the freaking hell am I too confusing? Brent was right. Karl was right. Jessa was too. My sister, friends, everyone’s right.

==
/edit: i don't regret everything anymore. i love/d her and i'm happy that at least we had spent our time together...

and i know it was my fault even from the beginning. i already apologized, i hope it was accepted. thanks for the love...
==

By the way, happy birthday to me.

Oh, and merry christmas.

==
/edit: name erased

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

20 na'ko!!

quotable quotes:

While driving from Alabang to Manila:
"Nakakatakot, napapaligiran na tayo ng mga ulap."

While crossing Javier Bridge:
"Andaming ibong lumilipad!!! Ndi kaya sila nalulula?"

==
happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday, happy birthday....~~~~

happy birthday to me!!!!

thanks for all your greetings!! Peipei, *angel*, besty, friends, family, ...

i hope my birthday wish comes true... i'll wait.

Monday, December 05, 2005

weekend.

last saturday was our monthsary... and the day wasn't very special at all. for some reason, we had a misunderstanding/fight/whatever again during class hours, and i was extremely sleepy the whole day which made me more irritable.

oh well. nothing's happened. guess it doesn't matter.

==

i watched Harry Potter 4 again, for the fifth time, yesterday. then on GMA SNBO last night, i watched Harry Potter 1. I also watched Yeogo Geodam 4 *moksir* and eheh... yuri-ness attacked again. :D so great...

we didn't talk so much yesterday... and i'm getting used to it. no more annoyance if she doesn't text, or call, the whole day. just that... it's getting tiring, actually. but i can still hold on.

==
that's the whole point why our relationshp is very exciting. it's wrong but we still manage to go along the way..

Thursday, December 01, 2005

emily rose

we watched the movie yesterday and i loved the court scenes... i swear, i will not accept cases involving the supernatural even if they'll pay me in millions.

actually, i always wake up in the middle of the night only to find out that it's 3 am.. and last night, i woke up again but i didn't bother to look at the clock.