kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

death. such a sweet yet painful word

A tribute to the Banyo Queen: (+ 11-27-05)

Like a stream
about to dry up
you exhaled your last breath
tired yet still
wanting to stay

But your eyes
in a silent plead
giving her the
slightest idea

or warning
that you’re already
wanting her to
let go

Like a flowing water
trying to fill
what you just left.


Saturday, November 19, 2005

pattinson + break up. not a good combination.

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who will resist this oh-so-beautiful person!? waaaah~!!!! his name's robert pattinson who played Cedric Diggory, the poor boy who Voldemort killed himself...

anyway, i cried in the freaking movie. well, not really cos i took hold of myself. oh well, i knew Cedric would die in the tournament but i didn't expect Daniel Radcliffe to be that good in crying... it made me... T__T

yesterday's date didn't turn out quite good. we almost broke up.. well, we did. but we managed to make it up again.. although, of course, things will never be the same again.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Igsugchi Anhaso[Can't Get Used] (konglish)

Onur uyonhi norur mannasso malloman duton gu sarami ni gyothe hamke issosso
nan nomu nollasso negyothe issur ten borsu obdon hwanhan misorur jigo issosso
hajiman non nega burssang hanji ne mosubi guri chorahe boyossonunji
nunmurur gurssongimyo kori ige mwonyamyo we irohge himduro hanyago nege murosso
nan gojimarur heboryogo hejiman nar bonun noui nunur boni guman nado moruge
ne maumsoge idon hago phadon marduri guman hullonaogo marasso

* Nan honja jami dununge honja iro nanunge honja babur mognunge igsugchir anha
nan honja joha hanunge honja surpho hanunge igsugchir anhaso igsugchir anhaso

Nan we nor ijir mothanunji ajigdo noman sengag hamyon gyesog nunmuri nanunji
iman hamyon ije ijur tedo doenunde shigani hullodo we deche najijir anhnunde
nan ochaphi norur mannagi jonedo honjaso sarassuni gutero doragajago
ne jashinur gyesog dalleboryo hedo noui binjariman boyo
Today I met you by chance
That person who I had heard about was there with you
I was so surprised because there was a smile on your face
A smile that had never been there when you were with me
I guess I seemed pathetic to you, so lonely and sad
There were tears in my eyes
So you asked me why I was crying, why I was hurting so much
I tried to lie to you
But when I saw you looking at me
I couldn't help myself
All the words that were in my heart spilled out

Going to bed alone, waking up alone
Eating meals alone, I can't get used to that
Liking something alone, feeling sad alone
I can't get used to that, I can't get used to it

Why can't I forget you?
Even now if I think of you tears fill my eyes
Enough time has passed for me to forget about you
So why can't I forget you even after all this time?
There was a time before we met when
I lived alone I say to myself that
I'll try to go back to that time
But then all I see is the empty space that you have left

ateneo exam. last saturday. T__T

ohh well. the subject says it all.

i hope i did good, although all i can say is that the exam was fair enough. full of logic and inference...

as you all know, i studied the vocabs really hard... but the only vocab that came out was the term "placid". and for chrissakes.. i didn't know the answer. T__T


Thursday, November 10, 2005

song writing and depression

i wrote songs last night and recorded them in a mini-cassette tape. most of the songs were about love, anything about love (rejection, forbidden love, etc.) and one is about a girl in the mirror who committed suicide. ..the song started with "whenever I look in the mirror, .." so, y'know, the song was about me.

i don't know if this is depression or anything close to that. it's just that, there are times that i get extremely sad for no reason at all. or maybe there is and it sits in my subconscious.

/edited: deleted picture. too large.

yeogo geodam craziness.

credits to google.


Besty Karl and me met yesterday at Big R Cainta. we ate at Mcdo and he told me that I look like Kitchie Nadal. well, some people tell me that as well. some say I look like Sarah Geronimo.. after eating at Mcdo, Karl bought me a chocolate something at Moccha Blends. then we went to Comic Alley and were sucked by the insanity of anime world.

PS: Advance happy birthday to prettiest woman in class, Mary Ann Ng. (uhm.. meri, i mean it. :D)

Sunday, November 06, 2005


there are things that i have been trying to forget but it was never easy. it is too difficult that it's been years and i still haven't forgotten them.

and whenever these things come to my mind, a cascade of sadness comes to me.. and i drown every time.

my friends have always told me to leave them in the past, because that's where they belong. and sometimes i wish that i could just live there, with them, so i wouldn't feel like this.

like now, when all i can do is smile as if i mean it.

(text message i sent to eka-san:
the worst thing about having memories is to realize over and over that they can never happen again.
and the worst of all memories are those shared with the person who caused the deepest damage to your heart.)

Besty karl told me he wrote a song with my name on it. aww.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

yeogo geodam II

yesterday, while watching Arirang drama series, I finally caught the name of the woman character who looked very familiar to me. It was Park Yee-Jin... then I realized.. she's the girl who committed suicide in my favorite Korean movie Memento Mori (watched in 2 years ago with Det). ... and this morning, while omma was watching Sang doo! hakkyo ga ja! again for the zillionth time (of course, i'm exaggerating), i realized that Kong Hyo-jin was "flatty", also in Memento Mori...



i've been asking for it since i've watched it, searched it in astrovision and other movie stores... and still found nothing. T___T

anyone who has that movie who can let me buy it for a reasonable price...???


Friday, November 04, 2005

ultra maniac.

wai~!!! *gambols* I cannot believe I cannot watch Ayu and Kaji's romance on Monday~~~~~!!! T__________T mya~~~~~!!!!


i want to write an UA fanfic. a romance tragedy (again, of course).. i mean, there's nothing better than a drama.

(texting: yesterday, i was having shortness of breath. and my chest was aching terribly. didn't know why..)

Me: gusto kong umiyak. kulang na yata ako sa iyak kaya sumasakit na ang dibdib ko eh.
Det: E di umiyak ka.
Me: Wala namang kaiyak-iyak eh.

UA drama fanfics in fanfiction.net are not heartrending at all. T__T oh wae...

Happy birthday to my Mother and cousins Rhea del Rosario and Mae Mae ...something. (forgot your lastname. biyaneyo~!.