kanashimi no tenshi: just let me cry...

My tears are not free. Every drop amounts to a piece of your heart. So when I cry you a river, prepare to give me you heart. and I'll welcome it with a kiss. (012407)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


I don't know why Adeth's parents were interviewed today at the Radio Veritas but i think it had something to do with their family. And one answer from the Q&A portion struck me.

Radio DJ: Hindi po ba kayo nagalit sa Diyos dahil sa mga dinadanas ng asawa n'yo at ng buo n'yong pamilya? (or something like that..)

Mem (Det's father): Hindi ho.

RDJ: Bakit po hindi?

Mem: Kung magagalit ako sa Diyos, sino pang lalapitan ko?


Sunday, May 27, 2007

Tipong pa-deep.

"In the Gospel according to Luke, there is a moment when an important man approaches Jesus and asks: 'Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?' And to our surprise, Jesus responds: 'Why callest thou me good? None is good, save one, that is God.'" - The Devil and Miss Prym, Paulo Coelho

What could be his message? St. Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologica, claims that Man is essentially good for there are virtues which come from the Natural Law which conforms to the nature of man. However, he also said that the law of nature may be blotted out "in the case of a particular action, in so far as reason is hindered from applying the general principle to a particular point of practice, on account of concupiscence or some other passion".

So therefore, although man is inclined to good, this inclination is imperfect as it may be corrupted by vices and passion.

This is the reason why Man needs laws. According to the Summa, there are men who are virtuous, and men who are not. Those who are no longer need laws because admonitions can already tame their actions. While those who are vicious need laws that make use of the fear of punishment in order that these vicious men obey, which in effect lead them to being good.

So if I may ask, are those virtuous men essentially virtuous or are they only afraid of punishment that they act virtuous? I think the positive answer belongs to my second question.

But I wonder, if people release their desire to do something evil, would it stop already? Would a moment of sacrifice to destroy the things that are familiar save the future of those things that will become familiar soon? Could a rebuilding be easier than preservation?

Saturday, May 26, 2007

safe and sound.

I've seen my grades. i'm out of danger. Thank God.

Legal Writing - 2.25
Roman law and Philosophy - 2
Labor Standards - 3 << My finals did a nose dive. But still.. *smiles widely*
Constitutional Law - 2.25
Criminal Law 2 - 3. << it wasn't really mathematically impossible but still, Thank God.

(I received a text message from Ritchel yesterday saying that grades were already available at the kiosks located in the main building so I immediately took a bath and sent forth from the province to Manila to check it out. yeah... to relieve the anxiety.)

Saturday, May 19, 2007


i deleted the most recent entry about some girl. it was a faux pas. i decided never to interfere, never to say anything about anyone, never to make a comment about whatever. i decided to keep quiet, feel nothing, be indifferent.

i'm trying to regain the trust i might have never had from the beginning. you see, i was brought up in an environment where people never liked me. Back in gradeschool, people always left me behind because i was like this and like that. In highschool, people usually didn't want to be seen talking to me because i was considered a loser, coming from an entirely different environment than those coming from exclusive subdivisions... But those people, they were all nice to me... then they'd lose their masks and show their skin as soon as i turned my back.

so you see, i have always been paranoid. i might be having the wrong impression on people but that's how i see the world. so if i say anything wrong, if i believe in something that's wrong or false or if i believe in an illusion and i revolve my world around it, then maybe you have to do something else than just telling me your truth. because it's very hard for me to believe in things that seemed false.

so there, i apologize cos it was me who was wrong from the beginning. and i apologize for not believing in you. i apologize for many things, but probably it's better that i'd rather stay quiet and be indifferent.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


i'm enjoying this newly-attached PLDT DSL thing in our computer.

we can now watch stuff on youtube and yeah... the first thing i searched was TAKING THE WALK.

finally. i can know what's going on.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


for the past four or five days, i've been confused about feelings and people.

until now i still think of whether i should go on or not..

yesterday, i was sitting by the terrace, my feet hanging over the garage. the wind was carefree, blowing my hair and trying to calm my aching heart. i looked up to the sky and recalled a dream that i had before. in that dream, i was walking in a long corridor with white walls and some doors on the side. i went in one of the doors after walking down that corridor. as soon as i entered, i had this very light feeling, like i was flying and all i could see were white, flimsy things but i didn't know what they were. it was a vast blue space with all those white, flimsy things hanging around. but i realized that i was alone, though happy because i felt so light. i guess i was afraid to be alone so i went out of the room, back to the long corridor, and back to the burdensome feeling. then i woke up.

yesterday, while i was looking up to the sky, with its vast blue space and thin, white clouds, i thought that maybe if i didn't go out of that room and stayed a little while longer, i would have been happy.

and as the wind blew, i looked down on the ground and was tempted to try to fly, though i know i would fall. then maybe... just maybe... i'd be happier.

do you really think we no longer have any place to go so we'd just have to stop? maybe it was my fault in the very beginning, when four years ago, i entertained these feelings and dragged you into it. but then, like Satou Sei said, wouldn't it be sad if you had to ignore love just because you know at some point you have to let go?

she said meeting and parting comes as a set. when there's hello, there's always a goodbye. are we going to take the natural course of life and say goodbye because our hello might have already come to its end?

Friday, May 11, 2007

seour system...

Oyuki Konno's Maria-sama ga miteru (the anime) reminds me of highschool. The Lillian School for Young Ladies is a Catholic exclusive school for girls, just like Assumption Antipolo. Lillian uses a Seour System which matches two students, one older than the other, to guide the latter during her 3-years stay in the school. They call them seours or "sisters" in French. Although in AA, we only have a week of Kapatiran, but we still have "sisters". They match senior students to freshmen so there's really a big gap in between.. My Kapatiran sister, Patty F., well... she's nice but the relationship was very awkward and it ended just the same when the Kapatiran week ended. I was a transfer student, she's a CAT officer and quite popular with the other popular kids. We just didn't jive well. Unlike in MariMite, the seours have very close relationships with each other and they treat each other like their real sisters...

My fave character is Satou Sei... because she's not a typical Lillian girl. ^^

WARNING: bad for your health

hay nako. punyetation naman...

mukhang walang plano ang HANSON na i-release ang album nilang THE WALK dito sa Pinas. samantalang sa Japan, February na-release. >_>

pano naman kase...

nung nag-concert sila dito, may bad write up sila sa Inquirer dahil ill-treated daw yung isang reporter or whoever dahil may nangyari nung ayaw na magpa-interview ng Hanson or ayaw
magpapicture before or after the concert yata... EH HELLLOOOOOOO~~~~!!! malamang kung nangungulit ka, masusupalpal ka talaga ng dala mong camera noh!?

tapos naman... ang laki laki nung venue ng concert eh sus naman... half or more than half lang yung napuno. NASAN NA YUNG LOYAL FANS NG HANSON!? andami daming kasapi ng PHOFC at HOFF!!!!!! asan na kayo!?


sarap sakalin nung writer na'yun. hindi naman kailangan pang isulat... tsaka ANO NAMAN!? Diyos ba ang Hanson at wala nang karapatang magalit!? yan ang hirap sa mga tao eh. kapag
"nabastos" kahit sila ang may kasalanan, pangit na ugali. pero kapag naging mabait sa kanila at alam naman nilang pagtalikod eh mag-a-alcohol ng kamay, pupurihin pa rin. ayaw n'yo ng mga
totoong tao.

- rant ng isang Hanson fan.
"I'm for the music, not for the cutesy faces of people I don't even know."

Thursday, May 10, 2007

updating the look

wala lang... had my unnoticeable haircut yesterday so i'm posting some new pix.. look how FAT i am now. T___T i'm trimming my weight again cos I went up from 102 lbs to 110 lbs. can you believe that!? T___T lotsa pimples are also appearing on my cheeks and forehead and i don't know what to apply anymore. T___T

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The week that was.

I just got back from Alfonso, Cavite/Tagaytay last Sunday. I was there with Adeth from May 3 to May 6 and we had fuuuuuuuun~~ ^^

May 2:
+ Adeth slept over at our house. We dropped by at my dorm first cos my sister and her bestfriend, Kay, transferred from their old dorm (which management is very ill-mannered) to my room so I'd be sharing the room with them starting June. :D

May 3:
+ We left at around 10:30 am and caught the Crow Transport Bus around 12 nn and without having lunch, travelled from Manila to Alfonso, Cavite. We got really hungry and all we had were 3 pieces of Monde's Cheesecake.
+ We stayed at the Sunrise Mansion Hotel and got rooms 218 and 220. It was like a small house, with one bedroom and two bathrooms (with bathtubs~~), a kitchen, a dining table lit by a
small chandeliere, and a loveseat by the window. There were no dividers actually, but you could see where's where by the muebles. ^^
+ We arrived there around 3:30, settled our things before grabbing lunch at the Bistro Restaurant in the hotel, near the swimming pool (which was a little deep cos i couldn't reach the
pool tile without losing my breath).
+ After lunch, we went back to Tagaytay and bought some stuff at Mercury Drug, bought two eggs (yey~) and a pair of slippers.

May 4:
+ We went to Dencio's Tagaytay and had Sisig (yum!) and Inihaw na Blue Marlin which is actually my favorite.. for the price of 780 pesos. ::gah::
+ We went to the Mini-zoo and enjoyed taking pictures of animals (although we had a petty fight along the way, ehehe). Det said I was very good at talking with the animals.. I might have the animal pheromone like Ruka Nogi. ^^ Det bought me a stuffed sheep which I named "Tupa". (Kay's remark: How creative.)
+ We went back to the hotel and I spent some minutes at the swimming pool while Det sat at the edge.

May 5:
+ I had Det convinced to go swimming with me. She said she doesn't enjoy stuff like that BUT she went out of the water laughing. We raced back and forth (on the shallow part of the pool) rabbit-slash-kangaroo-hopping (since Det can't swim) and had our asses laughing. She looked really cute hopping on the water like that. wahahaha~
+ In the afternoon, we went as far as SM Dasmarinas cos Det wanted some real meal (like KFC fried chicken >_<) and I wanted to see if Hanson's new album TAKING THE WALK is already out.. I was too sleepy that time so I was in a bad mood... ehehe. and the bus was really slow. ::bah::

May 6:
Well, we prepared to leave. Det cooked our breakfast and lunch while I fixed our things, clothes, etc, up. Adeth wanted to catch the primer for the De La Hoya - Mayweather boxing match so we ate at the table near the bed cos that's where the TV was. We checked out from the hotel around 10:40 and travelled back to Manila a few minutes later.

It was a very nice experience cos I got to cook our own meal, cook rice, prepared the table, and wash the dishes while Adeth watched tv in the bedroom most of the time. ^^

(But then, everytime I became idle, I would think about my status in Labor Standards and Criminal law 2 but most especially in Labor Standards... I am really worried and I still have to wait till May 31 to know the real deal.)

PS: I'm not using this number anymore: 0921-5150224. You can reach me at: EMAIL ME TO GET MY NUMBER, HA? >> kawaii_shoujo03@yahoo.com