::sigh::

for the past four or five days, i've been confused about feelings and people.

until now i still think of whether i should go on or not..

yesterday, i was sitting by the terrace, my feet hanging over the garage. the wind was carefree, blowing my hair and trying to calm my aching heart. i looked up to the sky and recalled a dream that i had before. in that dream, i was walking in a long corridor with white walls and some doors on the side. i went in one of the doors after walking down that corridor. as soon as i entered, i had this very light feeling, like i was flying and all i could see were white, flimsy things but i didn't know what they were. it was a vast blue space with all those white, flimsy things hanging around. but i realized that i was alone, though happy because i felt so light. i guess i was afraid to be alone so i went out of the room, back to the long corridor, and back to the burdensome feeling. then i woke up.

yesterday, while i was looking up to the sky, with its vast blue space and thin, white clouds, i thought that maybe if i didn't go out of that room and stayed a little while longer, i would have been happy.

and as the wind blew, i looked down on the ground and was tempted to try to fly, though i know i would fall. then maybe... just maybe... i'd be happier.

===
do you really think we no longer have any place to go so we'd just have to stop? maybe it was my fault in the very beginning, when four years ago, i entertained these feelings and dragged you into it. but then, like Satou Sei said, wouldn't it be sad if you had to ignore love just because you know at some point you have to let go?

she said meeting and parting comes as a set. when there's hello, there's always a goodbye. are we going to take the natural course of life and say goodbye because our hello might have already come to its end?