days after

We had a class christmas party last night. I couldn’t post pictures yet, they are still not available.

The class was great. We were all happy, I guess most of us were… I was on the verge of crying just looking at my classmates. That would be our last christmas party together… thank God for them.

Thanks to Abi, for the invisible gift. Hehe.. I completely understand. Just your presence was a gift to me last night. I’m serious. You really don’t have to hurry and buy me that thing in the wishlist… and if you could find the complete episodes, then, I’d pay the rest na lang.

==

For the nth time, we broke up. And I guess this’ll be for good. No more second, third, hundredth time around… I’m tired. She’s tired of battling out old issues and I’m tired of defending myself over and over. I’m tired of hearing jealousy, unreasonable doubts, you know. Whatever. Just that.

Who cares if both of us were hurting? Who cares if our family would suspect why things between us changed when we’re uber inseparable? They only think of us as best friends anyway. Best friends have differences.

Who cares if our thesis is the only bridge between us now? Meysil is still there. She’d keep us going. And… anyway, there are only three months left before we part forever.

Bleargh. Forever. The dreaded word… we dreaded it because we knew all along that we couldn’t be together forever, and it kept on bugging us because we thought we’d be in love with each other forever and not being together means we’d be suffering. Right. Forever. Forever. Forever.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Goddamnit. Why the freaking hell am I too confusing? Brent was right. Karl was right. Jessa was too. My sister, friends, everyone’s right.

==
/edit: i don't regret everything anymore. i love/d her and i'm happy that at least we had spent our time together...

and i know it was my fault even from the beginning. i already apologized, i hope it was accepted. thanks for the love...
==

By the way, happy birthday to me.

Oh, and merry christmas.

==
/edit: name erased